Alien Landscape

the day i drew many many.

i drew me and i drew you. then i drew the ocean.
in my mind, i threw you in. all the thousand coloured fishes ate you up, chewed you to bits. then they jumped out of the water, they broke the surface into a million drops that catch the sunlight and glinted with that something i saw in your eyes when you look at me and say you love me. they become a rainbow where i climbed to the top, to the bow and met you there. you told me to jump so i did and we fell. together. like rain.

with the wind rushing into our ears and with the world tunnelling into our eyes, i made my confession. i shouted Fir, i've forgotten how to love you!
with that look, with those tears that made the rain retreat into clouds, that look that broke my heart only that it isn't mine, that it is yours and i couldn't find mine because i seemed to have lost it.

you said ok. and we landed.

softly on our bare feet. onto grass where there are no worms because i don't like worms. with lots of pretty flying insects and hard armoured beetles because we like those. the sky was blue because it is your favourite colour and your eyes were brown and sad, just like they should be. just like they should be.

i fell asleep on my drawing block, right beside a tiny drawn figure of you. you were smiling at me with that look in your eyes, the one which makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world. when i woke up, my sleepy tears and dream drool smudged everything. the sky the grass the stars the fishes the ocean. everything except you and me. it was like a fairytale. a predictable one which many will scoff at, i'm sure.

you taught me not to care about them. you taught me to wonder and to marvel and to never get used to things. from the green of the grass to the black of souls. i told you no no darling, i would never forget. or stop wondering and marvelling and smiling and dreaming. i would never do that. i remember now. i remember i remember i remember. i remember now how to love you.

so i placed my pencil down, blew all the stray graphite away. there were fishes, beetles and falling lovers. there was forever and there was you. though i never wanted to be there, in pencil for all to see and laugh at, you held me in place tightly and whispered a secret all the world knew but i would never tell, to which i replied me too. me too.

goodnight young lovers.
and a rustle of paper, and a click of a worn pencil and the sigh of a dreamer's dream.
Posted by NHJ 12/24/2005 10:54:00 pm

Saturday, December 24, 2005