ALIEN LANDSCAPE
Author : NHJ
MSN: crescent_cage@hotmail.com
email : spherickey@gmail.com
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MRH
Yeoks
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PostSecret
echoncyllan
Before Gargoyle
One Million Footnotes
Read My Poetry.
Playing:
Between the Bars (Elliott Smith Cover) by Metric
Saturday, June 25, 2005
the green of the final.
there are landmowers across the land. the scattered few endangered patches of vibrant grass. they are masked men in grumbling cancer machines, shaving fields bald. i watched them intently today, from higher ground.
gazing at the uneven field of Jurong with its waving laughing grass, soiled storks and heavily browed mute mynahs, i remembered feeling conflicted.
the birds trailed the monstrous intruder like eager children. while i calmly ignored the prattling Fir beside me, i started to feel somewhat acquainted with the lawnmower man in his grumbling machine and hard eyes. i thought it was beautiful, watching him bump up and down on his seat while he drove without any significant patterns on a large sea of giggling grass. he was submerged, pulled teasingly into the green.
but i just somehow knew there was something wrong.
as he lumbered on, i remembered suddenly starting to plead him silently. please, not the flowers mister. maybe just that green patch over there, please mister. the nicely trimmed ones. but not the flowers mister. please.
the grass started wailing. i heard them and felt them. the black and white birds both suddenly looked hypnotised and controlled. no more could i see the eager jump-flights they made, to follow the lawnmower man. their movements were mechanical, like the bumping of the giant lawnmower.
noises voices sounds and music hushed. the lawnmower man sliced the yellow flowers to shreds of wet fragrant nothings. my eyes just stared on in pain and dismay but my mind closed.
the heart shuddered while i finally acknowledge my prattling Fir who was deeply concerned of the puncture in my heart which he thought was because of his incompetency.
that boy sometimes thinks the whole world is his fault.
Posted by NHJ 6/25/2005 07:35:00 pm
Friday, June 24, 2005
my thoughts are solar powered
so i hung my head and let my neck bake in comfort
wait patiently for poetry
for unreality for words
for something.
Posted by NHJ 6/24/2005 07:34:00 pm
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Est Solarus oth Mithas. my honour is my life.
i've died a shameful number of deaths.
Posted by NHJ 6/16/2005 08:04:00 pm
Friday, June 03, 2005
the lurkers
they lurk. they still lurk at corners and pounce to break me into dirt-brown shards at the slightest falter. then they would melt back into the walls of my conscience and cling to it like decay.
i question myself all the time; are they a result of weakness of mind or the manifestation of somekind of potential evil within or merely a lapse of sanity?
God help me, i doubt i can withstand another bout of attacks without minor seizures or a complete shutdown of consciousness because of the wicked things they gleefully composed and manipulated inside my mind. i cannot take these voices and these wayward thoughts and i tremble at the possibility that i might be infected for the rest of my existence!
they gnaw. jeer. they carress my guilt and embrace it like a pet and i feel it! an evil constriction beneath my ribs. i have fought and restrained and even forced painful numbness to retrieve at least a mere closeness to innocence and purity but they eased me back painfully into a black cradle.
i have to pray harder. only God can help me. i cannot stray too far away from Him lest i get sucked back into that maggot quicksand. i am very frightened... and i dare not even put in words the real concern of these lurkers...
be warned, those who hunger for solace. there are good reasons why we're among each other.
*
even seeking comfort feels like blasphemy. most times when i feel happiness, there is a clawing pain that follows like somekind of payment for what i felt. it worsens because i know i deserve it.
i'm not a child, no i am much younger than that.
Posted by NHJ 6/03/2005 01:01:00 am