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Sykopanther - 2001 All rights reserved

Monday, April 04, 2005

them who hate the sun.

i have a friend who is a sunflower. she is beckoning to me from afar.
but my navel cord is not long enough to go to her field. a mere kite above the gray.
i came to know her through a poem i wrote, 'Bloodied Sunflowers'. i saw her among the thousands in the field, all creations of my muse. though there wasn't anything distinctive about her i loved her instantly.
i came to think that this was all pretty narcissistic, to fall in love with a flower of my own poetry. i like to think the muse for the poem was simply a letter from her. a telepathic telegram where i played the poet-machine.

the sunflower come to me in dreams so i might lie among them and converse in dreamcode. it is always either during sunset or at night. i believe sunflowers foolishly think the sun to be a redundancy.
even in dreams her kind were unable to speak nor sign. the wind is her translator. the soft-souled elemental would tickle her and make her dance out her words. just like a child.
once she told me to stay. don't wake up, she said. talk me through eternity.
the next time, i asked her to come with me. in a pot. i didn't know why she got so angry. her giant golden head shook menacingly and her leaves trembled in the wind. i am a flower, she said in the end.

i chew on sunflower seeds a lot. it is like collecting a friend's tears to harden and suck on like a toffee because her sorrow tastes so sweet. i will try stop eating sunflower seeds.
Menetha calls me Kuachi sometimes.

i offered to take Menetha to the moon once. on old Catstrip. she hadn't really took up the offer. perhaps she thought i didn't really know the moon. perhaps she thought it was just my way of cheering her up with fanciful words and images. i'm afraid Madam Moon won't even look at me now. do you know what it's like to have the moon turn her face away from you?

i'm sorry sunflower. my navel cord is far too short. i haven't the courage to cut it yet. no one has ever done it before.
what would you do? would you pull out your roots and run to me?
i guess we'll just have to settle with just dreams.
Posted by NHJ 4/04/2005 11:40:00 pm