ALIEN LANDSCAPE
Author : NHJ
MSN: crescent_cage@hotmail.com
email : spherickey@gmail.com
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MRH
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echoncyllan
Before Gargoyle
One Million Footnotes
Read My Poetry.
Playing:
Between the Bars (Elliott Smith Cover) by Metric
Friday, August 20, 2004
i hate the beach. i swear where the horizon supposed to be, there is black metal fence.
and the sky is wallpaper.
when i stretch my arms, my fingers would graze a cold untouched surface.
it almost makes sense why the nightsky is white tonight. i think they forgot.
but what can that face mean? when i looked again, it screamed and tore itself. why can it be only looked upon once.
God it hurts.
so white.
Posted by NHJ 8/20/2004 09:37:00 pm
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
what i cannot take is the overwhelming loneliness of it. of how i let my head drop on the table with an echoing thud and feeling the shadow just cradling my head. no warmth. just the soft black void of emptiness and imitation spreading and embracing my head like a true friend.
the tears are warm. but. it's just not it.
the sobs are loud. comforting in a belittling way. they resemble somewhat of lost voices singing. orca-ish.
Posted by NHJ 8/17/2004 12:07:00 pm
Friday, August 13, 2004
unidentical gemini
loneliness grazes. i have no mood to talk to the Other Side. her voice has a haunting familiarity and it terrifies me. especially when it starts to blend with my own.
nor do i have the mood to talk to F. he's busy anyways. not too busy for me but talking to him right now would sink me further into blissful oblivion where the world consists of just me and him.
as much as i like to believe that to be true, the world and its occupants just tug and tug persistently. people walking in threes fours twos tens twentys. there is too much longing for the world. for something to define who i really am, not through the eyes of someone poisoned badly with love.
adulthood is fast chug-a-chugging towards me and i still cannot feel myself with the clarity of how i used to last time. perhaps it was all those lies forcing me to face who i am without anaesthetic. i have not even regained that easy confidence and innocence of how everything i do would be right no matter what. those days where i scratched away, cheerfully somber, childish cliche poems of teen age, scarecrows and frightened little girls.
all i feel now is numbness and occasional floods of overwhelmingly painful love i had for F. with that comes the burden of weighing the soul and the heart.
Posted by NHJ 8/13/2004 08:59:00 pm